Can You Handle The Truth?
by WaitingForThisMomentToBeFree
Summary: They say Knowledge is Power and that the Truth Will Set You Free.  But what happens when Blaine has to explore his own truth?  What risks is Kurt taking by sharing his truth with Blaine?  Will their friendship survive it?  Will it become something more?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not own characters. Property belongs to Ryan Murphy and Fox.

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><p>So after Kurt's Dad had the whole sex talk with him, there was no follow-up which really bugged me. Did Kurt read the pamphlets? What was his reaction? Did he tell Blaine what his father had done? Did Blaine tell Kurt what <em>he<em> had done?

So this is what I imagine the fall-out looked like! Enjoy!

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><p>BTW, if your looking for romantic but smutty goodness, check out my other story "Diner's Delight"!<p>

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><p><strong>CAN YOU HANDLE THE TRUTH?<strong>

It was 9:20am Saturday morning and Blaine was lingering over his second cup of coffee in the Dalton dinning lounge while reading "The book of Negros" for his African American history class. He was lost in a particularly heart-wrenching passage when he was quickly pulled back to reality by the vibration of his cell phone. He checked the display window to see that he had received a text message from Kurt. _ Kurt? At this time?_ He thought that odd but never the less, realized that he always felt a hint of excitement whenever he saw his friend's name.

XXX On my way. B there in 20 min. Meet me in rehearsal rm. ALONE XXX

Blaine was perplexed. What on earth was Kurt doing coming back to Dalton this early on a Saturday morning that couldn't wait until their plans later this afternoon? And why was his message so cryptic –and so brief? Kurt was generally anything but brief in his texts. Blaine moved his thumb to tap the "reply" button but quickly changed his mind. He didn't want Kurt distracted trying to read his phone while driving. Obviously Kurt was going to be here soon enough so he would just wait to see what was up. Maybe Kurt had another adventure planned for them; Blaine never knew what was coming from Kurt and the thought of this made him smile. Blaine downed his last mouthful of coffee, marked the page in his book and rose to return to his room to brush his teeth and freshen up before his friend's arrival.

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><p><em>He'd better be there! He'd better have his phone turned on or I'm going to explode if I get there and he's not waiting for me! <em>Kurt's thoughts had been tormenting him ever since he left Lima. Actually, his thoughts had been tormenting him ever since last night when he opened that first pamphlet. _Grrrr! Red light! Come ON! Who comes across this intersection in the middle of almost nowhere on a Saturday morning except for the odd Mennonite on their buggy? _

As Kurt sat there, the only vehicle for what was likely miles around, he realized that he was totally out of control. He didn't care though, he had a right to be unhinged and he was focused on reaching the only person he knew would understand his horror and support him. _Thank Gaga for Blaine!_

Kurt arrived at Dalton in record time, barely acknowledging the fact that he had been lucky to escape a speeding ticket. He tore into an empty parking space close to the entrance that was nearest the rehearsal room and threw it into park without even righting his less than straight wheels. As Kurt ran up the walkway, his normally coiffed hair blew wildly in the breeze that his swift movements were making. He could hear in his head the overture that played in the Wizard of Oz when the Wicked Witch was bicycling through the air in the black and white dream sequence. _Humph! How fitting! _ Kurt crashed through the doors causing the brass knobs to knock into the frescoed walls and continued on his way without so much as pausing to see if any damage had been done. He felt frantic now to reach his friend, knowing that in a matter of moments, he wouldn't have to bare this burden alone any longer.

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><p>Blaine sat comfortably on a sofa at the side of the rehearsal room. He had changed into his weekend clothes; a pair of dark washed jeans and an oatmeal cable-knit sweater. Hands interlaced across his mid-section, head leaned against the back of the couch and eyes closed; Blaine savoured the few quiet moments to contemplate what his very talented but somewhat erratic friend had in store for them. Maybe it was a shopping trip to the fabric store; Kurt always liked to get there early when the new shipments arrived and he <em>had<em> been talking about introducing "Jazzier" vests and ties for the Warblers public appearances. Or maybe he wanted to wait in-line for tickets to some obscure local theatre production that knowing Kurt, were not due to go on sale until midnight tonight, or maybe –

The door burst open.

Blaine's eyes flew open and he sat up with a start. His initial smile at the sight of Kurt quickly faded when he realized that something was terribly wrong.

"Kurt – What's happened?" deep concern was etched on Blaine's face.

"You won't believe it! You _seriously_ won't believe it!" Kurt was obviously agitated as he flailed his hands and paced across the floor.

"Kurt, what's _wrong_? Tell me!"

"It was bad enough when it was _YOU,_ but my _father_? My father! I - Am - LIVID! At first I was just plain _mortified_; but then I could see how difficult it was for him and that he was trying to do something -I don't know,_ parental_ and he said all these really sweet things, and for my father, I _knew_ how much of an effort that took for him to talk to me, and then, THEN he offered to make me toast! Can you believe it? TOAST! So I took my pathetic toasted peace offering to my room and I read them –or at least I _tried _to, but I was just so, _so, LIVID_!" Kurt was rambling on, his face reddening more by the moment, his gestures more exaggerated and frantic.

Blaine was lost, he rose from the sofa grabbed his friend by the shoulders saying, "Kurt, you have to slow down, I have no idea what you're talking about!"

With venom coming through his clenched teeth Kurt spat out, "This! This is what I'm talking about!" Reaching into the inside pocket of his jacket, Kurt withdrew the pamphlets and threw them down on the side table next to Blaine.

Blaine's eyes perused the titles, the first of which was "Boys With Boys" and he felt a sick twisting in the pit of his stomach. "Oh..." He knew this was not going to be good.

"Who does that? I mean, what _father _gives his teenage son an instructional manual on how to, how to – Uhgg!"

Blaine sat back down on the couch; just staring at his hands folded in his lap.

"Why aren't you saying anything? You've read this stuff, don't _you_ think it's inappropriate for this information to come from my father?" Kurt's tone demanded not only a response but quite obviously one that would align with his currently skewed and ranting perspective.

Hesitantly, Blaine opened his mouth, "Kurt…" before thinking better of it and terminating his intended sentence.

"What? What were you going to say Blaine?" Blaine just shook his head and looked down. "Since when do you not have an opinion on something Blaine? Is the _'Okay, I'm a gay sage'_ maybe not as knowledgeable as he likes to think he is?"

"Hey now, be fair; I never claimed to be an expert on anything!" Blaine fired back somewhat wounded. "I've just made an effort to inform myself because I think that's the _responsible_ thing to do. AND I think what your dad did was pretty cool and took a lot of courage. I wasn't _saying_ anything because I more than learned my lesson last week when you _bit my head off _in your room when we were talking about sex! Well, I was _trying _to talk to you about sex and you were just burying your head in the sand! Why do you think I went to talk to your dad?"

Kurt gasped and from the look of horror and betrayal on his face, Blaine realized that Kurt hadn't known about his conversation with his father. _Damn._

"How dare you! You, you spoke to my father? About me? About... _That?" _Kurt, utterly flabbergasted, growled, clenched his fists at his sides and started to stomp across the room.

"Kurt – Stop!" But he wouldn't. Blaine stumbled as he tried to scramble to catch up to Kurt before he left the room. Stretching out a hand and grasping Kurt's shoulder, Blaine tried again, "Kurt! I'm Sor- Stop already!" Blaine dug his fingers into Kurt's flesh to ensure that he had a decent grip then spun him around. "Stop for a second, _Please!"_

Kurt complied but the look on his face was like a shard of ice piercing Blaine's heart. Kurt shook Blaine's hand off of his shoulder and folded his arms tightly across his chest and started tapping a foot against the tiled floor in defiance.

"I don't – I'm so sorry Kurt. Honest I am. I don't blame you for being upset –" Kurt's eyes flared and he cut Blaine off.

"Upset? Oh, you think that _this_ is upset? Try Irate!"

"I know! I know!" Blaine jumped in quickly before his friend could escalate even more. "I crossed a line, I get that. I didn't mean to hurt you though. I just, I was worried about you Kurt. You may not be with anyone right now, but eventually you will be and you need to know how to protect yourself! If you didn't want to hear it from me, the only other person I could think of that you respect enough to listen to is your father. I was trying to be a friend to you! Please tell me you see that?"

Kurt was starting to tremble, "FRIEND? FRIENDS don't betray you. FRIENDS don't go behind your back. FRIENDS don't force things on you that you're not ready for!"

Blaine could see that this was so not the time to try and explain himself to Kurt or to dare try and challenge him...but he couldn't help himself.

"Not ready for? Come on Kurt, you're 17 years old. You should have had this information when you were 12 –younger even! No one's _forcing_ anything on you. No one is saying that you should run out now that you know how to protect yourself and start having sex with random guys, least of all not your father! I mean, aside from the part about STD's, weren't you kind of glad to learn a bit about what guys can _do_ together and how? I mean, weren't you a little curious? I know I was!" Blaine thought he was finally making a connection with Kurt. Apparently he thought wrong.

"No Blaine! I was NOT 'kind of glad' to learn about any of this nor was I 'curious' because unlike you, _I _am not a pervert!"

Blaine was losing his patience more so because he knew that Kurt was not being honest. "Oh come on Kurt, don't give me that! You expect me to believe that you don't fantasize about these very things when you take care of yourself at night? That when you had a crush on Finn you didn't use to think about what his cock would taste like or how it would feel in your ass?"

Kurt gasped. "You're disgusting! How can you suggest that I would even _think_ about having – about doing _those _things with anyone?"

Blaine was beyond irritated now and whether Kurt liked it or not, he wasn't going to hold his tongue any longer.

"See Kurt? You can't even say the word! Come on Kurt, say it: Sex. I can say it, why can't you? Just three little letters try it, Sex!"

Kurt unhitched his arms and threw them down to his sides in exasperation, "You are such a Jerk!"

"Jerk? Oh, I'm just getting started. SEX – say it Kurt; how about _Gay SEX_ – Oooh, even better, _Hot, Sweaty, Steamy Man on Man SEX!_" He knew he shouldn't taunt Kurt but he couldn't help himself. "Now me, I personally haven't had SEX yet but I look forward to having SEX one day and hopefully soon! I've read about SEX and I've watched videos with people having SEX in them, Oh, and here's one for you that should make steam come out of your virginal ears, I _fantasize_ about having SEX with naked guys who have giant dicks while I masturbate!"

Kurt was trembling now, "You are vile! Absolutely disgusting Blaine Anderson! " As the angry tears started streaming down Kurt's cheeks, Blaine's heart collapsed in on itself and he was filled with shame. Kurt turned abruptly and started to flee.

"Aw, Man! Kurt!..." but it was too late. Kurt was already running out of the room.

Blaine flopped down on the couch and lay back for a moment; raising a forearm to cover his eyes. "Shit"

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><p>Blaine had no idea how long he had laid on that sofa in the rehearsal room, but it had to be long enough because he was finally starting to run out of names, insults and mental punishments to berate himself with. He was nauseous with shame for the way that he had behaved. How could he have allowed himself to speak to Kurt like that? How could he have had so little self-control that he could hurt his best friend so deeply? And why? What did he hope to accomplish by being such an asshole? Blaine forced himself to look honestly at his motivations and realized that this had become about so much more than just ensuring that Kurt had some basic information. Wow, he really did owe Kurt an apology and maybe a year's subscription to Cosmopolitan magazine as a peace offering. Just then, Blaine's watch beeped – 1:00 PM. Hmmm, Kurt should be home by now. He steeled his courage and decided that he would call – no, text Kurt...<p>

XXX UR right. Caling me a Jrk was kind... Im far worse. U canot imagine HOW SORRY I M. Pls let me no when I can call U... want 2 beg 4 UR 4giveness. Im so ashamed 4 upsetting U, 4 hurting U. Pls Blieve me. I don't want 2 lose UR friendship. So text me ok? When UR ready. Im sorry. Blaine. XXX

Well, that was all he could do for now. He would just have to wait... patiently; or at least until Sunday night. There's no way he could get through classes on Monday with this between them if he hadn't heard from Kurt by Sunday night. Then for sure he would have to call him, although Kurt could always hang up on him. No, that wouldn't do. He would just have to drive down to Lima in person and camp out on Kurt's front porch if necessary.

Blaine was formulating his plan as he walked back to his dorm room when his foot stepped on something small and hard causing him to slip a bit on the tiled floor. He bent down to pick up the offending item, _plaster? _As he rose, his eyes scanned the wall until he noticed the distinct knob-shaped indent behind the exterior door. _Well someone's been overdoing their Wheaties_. He made a mental note to notify maintenance of the damage on Monday morning. Blaine turned to continue on his way when his eye was caught by a familiar sight out in the parking lot – Kurt's car! He hadn't left yet! Blaine raced at breakneck speed to his dorm room, taking the stairs two at a time. He paused for only a moment in front of his door to gather himself before entering and saying, "Kurt, I'm so sorry, I'm glad you -" But Kurt was not there. It didn't take Blaine long to eliminate all the places that Kurt _wouldn't _be; essentially, anywhere where any of the other students _would_ be. Blaine knew exactly where he'd find him.

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><p>Kurt was reading Blaine's text message for the 20th time while sitting on the ground, leaning against the trunk of the giant weeping willow tree at the far end of the Dalton Academy property. He didn't even care that he hadn't brought a blanket with him today and that his slacks were getting dirty. This had become his new favourite place. He often came to this tree when he needed to think or to be alone. He felt comforted by the blanket of long, thin, chartreuse branches raining down all around him; he felt protected, embraced. He knew he should have gone home a long time ago but each time that he thought he was calm enough to drive, he would remember Blaine's harsh words or the look in his eyes and the tears would start cascading down Kurt's face again. He looked up at the weeping willow and thought to himself, <em>huh, how apropos.<em>

As wickedly as he had gone about it, Kurt knew that Blaine was right; he really should know some basics about sex and protection. He _should _be able to say the word _sex_ with no more discomfort than if he said the word, _moisturizer. _After all, they were both a part of everyday Blaine was also right that he wouldn't have listened to anyone else other than to his father. Although he was still furious that Blaine had gone and talked to his Dad behind his back, he was also impressed - after all, his father could be an intimidating man. Even still, Kurt was furious none the less. But why? _Why_ was he so angry? And so sad?

Well, sad was easy enough to figure out. He was in love with Blaine and had been since the first time he saw him perform. He was everything Kurt had always imagined his perfect fantasy boyfriend to be: gorgeous in a non-arrogant way, talented and as passionate about music and performance as Kurt was, intelligent, supportive, kind-hearted..._Darn it!_ The tears were coming again. He knew Blaine didn't feel the same way and so Kurt was resigned that Blaine would only ever be a friend; it was better than not having Blaine in his life at all.

Kurt thought that it must be an emotion induced mirage when he saw what he believed to be Blaine coming towards him in the distance. _Uhgg, pathetic! _But as the figure drew closer, he realized that he wasn't hallucinating. Oh gawd! He was NOT prepared to deal with this! Quickly he turned away to wipe the tears from his face.

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><p>Just as he thought, Kurt was at the willow tree. He knew Kurt loved this place and smiled to himself for a moment, forgetting the seriousness of the situation as he considered what a gentle soul Kurt was. His smile quickly faded though when he noticed that Kurt had spotted his approach and turned away, wiping his eyes and dragging his shirtsleeve under his nose. Once again, Blaine felt that his chest had sunken in, to realize that Kurt had still been crying; to understand that Kurt was obviously still so hurt. Blaine approached the tree; hands in his pocket, head bent down humbly.<p>

"Uh, Hi. Would it be okay if I sat down?" Blaine asked tentatively.

Kurt sniffed his still running nose and kept his eyes focused forward before answering, "It's a free tree Blaine, I can't stop you."

Blaine sighed heavily, "No, I know you can't, but if you would _prefer_ for me not to be here then I'll respect your wishes and I'll leave."

"There's a novel idea." Kurt huffed.

"I – I just really wanted to apologize to you Kurt. The way I behaved; well, it was absolutely vulgar and I'm ashamed. Worst of all, I upset you and if you had any idea how much your friendship means to me, well then you would know just how racked I am with guilt and remorse."

Kurt was silent as he considered Blaine's words. _If I had any idea? More like if he had any idea! _The water started trickling from Kurt's eyes once again.

When Blaine saw the tears, he knew he had to do what was right for Kurt, not what was right for himself. "I'm uh, I'm gonna let you be now. I think I've been enough of a self-serving ass for one day. Just please, _consider_ forgiving me? Or at least talking to me again at some point? I truly am sorry Kurt". Blaine took one slow step backwards before turning, hanging his head and walking away. He made it three steps before he barely heard Kurt's child-like voice over the sound of the branches rustling in the light breeze.

"Self-serving how?"

Blaine froze mid stride, looking up to the sky he took a deep breath and mouthed a silent _Thank You! _Kurt was giving him an opening, not that he deserved it, but an opening none-the-less and he had no intentions on wasting it. Blaine made his way back to the majestic tree, _Kurt's tree_, each step slow and deliberate as if he were actually traversing on a pond of thin ice towards the safety of the shore. He stood beside Kurt whose legs were pulled up into his chest, chin resting on his knees.

"May I?" Blaine asked, gesturing with one hand to the patch of earth on the left side of Kurt. Kurt rocked his head in a pseudo nod as if his chin were hinged on either side to his inner knees.

"Thank you..." Blaine took a seat on the ground close to Kurt but minding a respectful distance. He sat crossed legged and picked up a small twig in front of him; peeling off tiny strips of bark while he considered what he was going to say to his friend, _how_ he was going to say it. He took a deep breath and began.

"When you left the rehearsal room I stayed behind and, and I thoughtabout _why_ I had made it my _duty_ to share this information with you in spite of your protest." Blaine paused for a moment and risked a glance towards Kurt whose face was still buried in his knees. Blaine continued.

"I realized that if I was being really honest with myself, it was just as much about what _my wants_ were as it was about ensuring that you had accurate information. I know you look up to me – _looked_ up to me anyway, and I certainly didn't do anything to discourage it, but I'm all new to this being gay and being out as you are. You already know I've never had a boyfriend and I've never kissed a guy or even held one's hand. I'm not proud to admit it, but I think the real reason I wanted you to know about sex and to have a level of comfort with the conversation is because _I_ wanted someone to talk to about this stuff." Blaine paused, and tilted his head towards Kurt just in time to see Kurt raise his eyes up and glance towards Blaine from under his lashes. _Okay, good, he's listening._

"You're the first gay friend I've ever had. I've made some great friends here at Dalton but, it's not like I have much to contribute when the guys are sitting around talking about the girls they have the hots for or sharing their 'never fail' foreplay tips or sexual positions to try. And I certainly can't tell them when I'm crushing on a _guy_ –" Blaine saw Kurt's mouth open to correct him from the corner of his eye and beat him to it, "Okay, _I did_ tell them about gap guy but only because I needed their help to pull off the performance. I wonder about _stuff _and I wonder if other gay guys wonder about the same stuff; there are just some things, some _personal_ things that I wish I could talk about with my best friend... my _gay best friend. _Does that make any sense?"

Kurt's heart was pounding. _Best Friend_. Blaine had called him his best friend; his best friend that he wanted to confide in and seek solace in and talk to about sex ...with _other_ guys...Uhgg. He didn't know if he should feel flattered or defeated. Kurt lifted his face from his knees and leaned back against the tree.

"When you explain it like that then yeah, _I guess_ it makes sense. I know that before I met you, I had no one to talk to about being gay, or coming out, and while the other glee clubbers knew about the bullying, no one could _really_ understand because no one else had ever gone through what I had, as a gay, male student. And while I appreciate that apparently _you_ feel the need to have someone to talk to about the birds an-" Kurt caught himself and thought _moisturizer_, "Er, sex, I don't think that _I'm _the one you should be talking to about this."

Blaine gave a half smile, leaning back against the trunk of the willow as well and turning his face towards Kurt.

"Well, I disagree. You are my best friend which makes you perfectly qualified! Thank you Kurt. Thank you for hearing me out and giving me the chance to explain even though it was completely selfish of me. I am so sorry, if nothing else, I hope you believe that." Those gorgeous full eyebrows furled down, his hazel eyes remorseful and pleading.

Kurt sighed, "I do. We've been through too much to let this get in the way of ...of our _friendship._" It was like vinegar on his tongue to say that word and yet, Kurt already knew that even if he had to spend the rest of his high school years pining for Blaine silently with a perpetual broken heart, the one thing he would never sacrifice was their friendship. "But I won't lie when I tell you that I'm not likely to be so understanding if something like this happens again. You really hurt me Blaine; I can't even think when I have ever been so upset, so incredibly _angry_ with someone that I care about!"

"I get that Kurt, and I wouldn't even _think_ to ask for another chance if I ever behaved so poorly again. Not that I ever will!" It wasn't enough for Blaine though; he needed to know that no permanent damage had been done. "Are, _are we okay_ then?"

Kurt rolled his eyes, "Yes Blaine, we're okay". Blaine's smile burst from his face and upon seeing this, Kurt couldn't help but let a grin escape.

"So now that we're talking again, can I ask you one more question?" Blaine knew he was pushing his luck but the worst Kurt could say was _no_ and in that case, Blaine would simply move on.

Kurt sighed – heavily and with some annoyance in his voice when he prompted, "What is it Blaine?"

"Well, I know you were upset with me, and I get that; but you were _so angry_. I've never seen you like that before and I guess I just don't understand why? I mean, most teenage guys, straight or gay are an embarrassing pool of hormones and _all _they can think of or talk about is sex; but you were absolutely _enraged_... I, I just wondered if there was a reason that it struck you that way?"

Kurt was getting nervous. He could feel his stomach begin to tighten and the slight sting returning behind his eyes. His voice hardened again when he spoke, "Look Blaine, it's _my_ problem. Okay?"

"Okay..." Blaine initially hesitated but didn't want to leave things without at least _trying_ to help his friend. "But whatever the problem is, you don't have to deal with it all alone. I mean if it's something like you're questioning the _extent_ of your _gayness _that would be totally normal. Or if you're finding that you aren't yet really having sexual feelings that could be nothing more than the fact that you're a late bloomer, or still getting comfortable with your orientation, or it could be something hormonal and a doctor –"

"Stop it Blaine! You're not helping!" Kurt was almost yelling and Blaine was taken aback.

"I, I'm sorry...I just thought that if there was something we could identify then –"

"Grrrr! It's not my hormones Blaine and I'm not a late bloomer! I have PLENTY of sexual feelings, more than I care to admit to! I'm Scared! Okay Blaine? I'm so angry because I'm So Freakin' Scared! Are you _happy_?" The tears started to fall once again. Blaine was frozen in shock and couldn't react before Kurt started again.

"I'm afraid that I will never meet anyone and that I will spend my life alone, that I will _die_ _alone_! I'm afraid that I _will_ meet someone and I won't know what to do or I will know what to do but I'll be _really bad_ at it and they'll leave me! Or what if I find this amazing boyfriend and we start to become intimate and _I_ don't like it or even worse, what if I'm _repulsed_ by it? Where does that leave me?" Kurt was full out sobbing now. He slumped further down the trunk of the tree, giving in to the weight of the emotion that was crushing him. His arms limp at his side, hands hanging in the dirt.

Blaine reached over placing a hand on Kurt's shoulder to comfort him, "Hey, easy Kurt... Shhhh, it's gonna be okay." Blaine cooed at Kurt as if he was soothing a child. "You don't think I've had those same fears? That I _still _have some of those fears? They suck but I think it's normal to have those feelings. We're treading water here. This is unknown territory for us and it's not like there's a _Homosexual's Handbook _we can reador a _Gay Relationships 101 _course that we can take. Hell, I didn't even get my _toaster oven_ when I joined!" Blaine was hoping that the Ellen reference would at the very least twitch the corners of Kurt's mouth up just a bit, but no luck. The salty water still flowed over Kurt's now puffy red cheeks and it was breaking Blaine's heart. He hated to see his friend in so much pain and feeling so insecure.

"You know, this is a good example of why it could be really great to have each other to talk to about these things. We can take turns fishing each other back down to Earth when one of us spins out of control about something. How great would it be to have someone that you trust and that truly understands what you're going through to unleash all these shitty feelings out on and know that they will be there no matter what? AND, since you quite clearly know that you are _all the way gay_ and suffering those hormones like the rest of us, how cool would it be to hang out and _talk guys_? Think about it...we could be scandalous and tell each other all the things that we only ever dared think about in our heads like, who we think is a closet case at school or what Hollywood Star we think has a hot body or about the guys we're crushing on!" Blaine was trying so hard to ease Kurt's anguish and in the process, he was getting excited about the prospect of getting from Kurt the very thing he had been hoping for before this fiasco began – a comrade, a confidant, a fellow _guy in gayness_! But Kurt was not seeing it this way.

"My god Blaine! How _obtuse_ can you be? Can't you even think of a single reason _why_ I wouldn't want to talk to you of all people about these things? Why I don't want to talk to you about _whom_, as you so ineloquently put it, I am _'crushing on'_? Think about it Blaine, it doesn't take a freakin' genius!"

Blaine stared at Kurt, mouth agape. He was at a loss, what was he missing? He had upset Kurt all over again and this time he had no clue how or why? He considered Kurt's question; _why would he not want to talk to me about his fears, his questions about sex, about the person he has a crush on?... we're best friends, I'd tell him who I have a crush on – _Kurt could practically see the light bulb illuminate over Blaine's head as realization sunk in.

"Uh..., _Oh_" Unconsciously, Blaine's hand fell away from Kurt's shoulder.

Kurt knew this would happen, he knew that his feelings for Blaine would eventually ruin everything that they already had together. Being with Blaine had always been so effortless, so easy; like putting on a worn pair of slippers that were perfectly moulded to you, that felt like home when you slipped them on.

"God Blaine! Couldn't you just leave well enough alone?" Kurt rose to his feet stomping a few steps away and reaching up to clench his hair in his hands in exasperation. He turned to face Blaine again, staring straight into his eyes, "You want me to _share_ my feelings with you, my romantic interests? Fine. You asked for it. I've been avoiding these conversations with you because I have been _'crushing'_ on you since the first day I met you! And the more we got to know each other, the more time we spent together, the more I realized that you were exactly the type of man I wanted in my life. But I knew you didn't feel the same and that was fine, I had accepted that. So, I tried _so hard_ not to think of you _in that way_ but when I _tried_ not think about you, then the dreams came; and not the G-Rated Disney kind of dreams; the _I wake up ashamed of myself_ kind of dreams!

Don't you see? Boyfriends will come and go but friendships are enduring. More than anything else I didn't want to lose your friendship by professing my pathetic adoration like a love-sick puppy knowing you couldn't return the feelings. So, I kept my mouth shut. There was no reason to make you feel uncomfortable, to make you think that anytime I called you or invited you out for coffee that there was some ulterior motive on my part. But now, now that's _ruined_ because I can see that you're freaking out which is so messed up because really, _nothing has changed_ between us except that now you know whereas 10 minutes ago you didn't!"

Blaine's head was racing; it was too much information to process. _Kurt has a crush on me? He's been having sexual dreams about me? Innocent, naive Kurt? Oh god, he's staring at me, say something! Dammit Blaine, say something!_

"Kurt, I...uh,-" Blaine was grasping for words but his brain wouldn't work quickly enough. Or maybe it was his mouth that shut down in protest for all the stupid things he had already said today.

"Uhgg! Forget it Blaine. You don't have to say anything. Just – forget it!" Kurt moved to the opposite side of the tree and flopped back down on the ground, resuming his former position but this time with his arms crossed over his knees so that he could bury his face in them and delude himself into believing that Blaine wouldn't be able to tell that he was crying again.

Blaine followed him and leaned against the trunk of the tree. "Kurt, honestly I'm not sure how to respond to that... _that information_ just yet. And it deserves a response... but not a hurried one. You've had a long time to think about all of this and I'm _just_ finding this out. I just need a little time to process this, to figure out my own feelings and then I _promise_ we'll talk, because we _should talk_. But I do want to thank you Kurt." Kurt raised his head in response to the unexpected comment, giving Blaine a look that begged, _What are you talking about?_

Blaine continued, "I want to thank you for being honest with me; for having the courage to tell me something that I know was not easy for you and that from your perspective, could have impacted our friendship. If there is one thing I can promise you right now, it's that nothing and I mean _nothing _could ever ruin our friendship. I just simply won't allow it!" Blaine gave Kurt a warm smile and while Kurt's stomach still felt like he was hosting the Running of the Bulls, at least he felt that he could finally breathe again. He knew he would regret what he had told Blaine later, but at least for the moment, Blaine was smiling at him and had promised to maintain their friendship. If that was true, then Kurt would eventually learn to survive the rest. Kurt gave a sheepish smile and a subtle nod of the head.

"How 'bout I walk you back to your car? Your Dad's gonna be wondering where you are soon."

Kurt stood, avoiding Blaine's eyes and made to take a step in the direction of the parking lot when Blaine asked,  
>"Can I have a hug?" It was not such an odd question considering what they had been through today and in light of the fact that Blaine was unfortunately (or fortunately) one of those touchy-feely people when he was emotional. It was too much for Kurt to deal with right now though, so he speculated,<p>

"_Self-Indulgent_?"

Blaine quickly looked down then back up to Kurt for a moment as his cheeks began to flush, "Yeah, good point. Thanks..."

The boys walked back to Kurt's car in silence, slowly crossing the long grasses that blew gently in the cool autumn breeze. They certainly hadn't solved the _World Debt Crisis_, but they had in their own right taken an important step today. For better or for worse, they had each touched their truth and owned it by speaking it allowed. There would be many more conversations to be had in the coming days, but for now, even with fear and uncertainty lingering, they had each committed to their friendship; and at least, that was something!

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><p><strong>AN** Okay, lay it on me - The good, the bad, and the fugly!

I've been trying to decide whether or not to leave this as a one shot, or pursuing the story a bit further with other chapters. Tell me what you think!


	2. Thou Doth Protest Too Much

So, I struggled getting started and getting through this chapter. I knew that our boys would still have to go through some _angsty_ stuff and doggone it, I didn't want to write it! But alas, that is life and you can't get to the romance without first passing through the fire. I decided that the only thing that would make this chapter bearable for me was to inject some humour a-la-Wes; well, my version of him anyway! Special shout out to FF author **"Agnesiest"** who, in her own marvellous stories, captured Wes just the way I had always imagined him to be and demonstrated that a slightly twisted, snarky version of Wes can be deliciously entertaining!

BTW, I imagine Wes to be Blaine's roommate and in my version, Kurt commutes to Dalton.

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><p><strong>#2 -Thou Doth Protest Too Much<strong>

"Blaine! What are you doing?" It was David's voice in his doorway. Wes must have left the door unlocked when he went down for breakfast thinking that Blaine would soon be following. From under the blankets Blaine muttered,  
>"Sick. Sorry. Go without me."<p>

On Sunday mornings, the Warblers performed at nursing homes in smaller groups so that they each had at least two Sundays off a month. This was Blaine's Sunday to perform.

"Yeah, okay" David sounded annoyed. "Well,_ whatever_ it is, it better be over by tomorrow – we have rehearsal."

"Mmm, hmm" was all Blaine could mumble out. He heard David make an exasperated sound then walk out closing the door –loudly- behind him.

Blaine waited a few moments to be sure he heard David's footsteps retreating down the hall. He lowered the navy and red plaid knit blanket from his head so that his nose was uncovered and he could finally draw in some fresh air. What was the matter with him? Why did he feel so shitty? It's not like Kurt was still angry with him; they had made their peace by the time he left yesterday. At least he _thought_ they had. Kurt hadn't texted him last night as was per their usual routine. Then again, Blaine hadn't written him either. What if Kurt really _was _still upset but just said he wasn't so that he could get away from Blaine? What if –

Suddenly there was a soft rapid knock at the door. Blaine drew the blankets back over his head so that all that was visible were a few soft black curls against his pillow. "Go away!" He sounded pathetic.

He heard the door knob turn and knew instantly who it was by the sound of the footsteps.

"Wes, I already told David that I'm _sick_! Surely you guys can function without me for one Sunday!"

"Hmmm, sick eh? Look, I saw you and Kurt out by the tree yesterday and it looked more like a lover's quarrel then just two guys exchanging highlights from the second inning of last night's hockey game."

"Periods you jackass; hockey is played in _periods_! Baseball is innings! And we were not having a _lover's quarrel!_" Blaine fired back, his head never emerging from the safety of the darkness provided by his tartan blanket.

"Whatever. I'm not here to give you grief; you need today off? Fine, then take it. But figure this shit out because we can't afford to lose _two_ of our choir members, especially our lead! I'll be back in a few hours and if you –_Ughh, I can't believe I'm saying this_, if you _really_ need to talk then we'll, I don't know, we'll have a _Swiss Mocha Moment_ or whatever it is that you sensitive homos do".

"Fuck off Wes" came from the blob under the blankets.

"I love you too!" and with that, Wes was gone.

Blaine lay in his bed playing yesterday's events over and over in his mind; analyzing every word, every facial expression, every innuendo. Now what was he suppose to do? His best friend was attracted to him. This was seriously weird; much more so than it was flattering. Uhgg, and he had already promised Kurt that he wouldn't let it affect their friendship. And he didn't _want _it to affect their friendship but how could it not? He berated himself for having pushed Kurt to talk to him about his romantic feelings. He wished like hell he could go back to being ignorant and naive to Kurt's affections.

* * *

><p>Kurt lay back on the chaise lounge out in the sun room. His honey almond mask slowly absorbing into his moisture deprived skin and a slightly chilled green tea and eucalyptus compress over each eye to reduce the puffiness. He had cried all night. The soundtrack to Les Misérable played softly in the background. It was so...so <em>perfectly<em> _tragic_!

"_...And still I dream he'll come to me, that we will live the years together; but there are dreams that cannot be, and there are storms we cannot weather!..." _

A lump settled in Kurt's throat as he sang along with the CD. _Ahhh, Fantine_; now there's a girl who knows heartache! Kurt removed the compresses from his eyes and sat up reaching for the cloth soaking in the bowl of warm water on the side table. Slowly he wiped the moisturizing mask from his face, savouring the warmth of the moist terrycloth on his skin. He wished his whole body could be wrapped in this warmth, swaddled like a newborn baby. Maybe then he could finally escape from the pain that always seemed to follow him throughout his life. His mother had died, his father had almost died, he had a little girl's voice and if that wasn't bad enough, he was gay and bullied out of his own school. And now, the only true male friend that he had, who _also_ happened to be gay, was the object of his affections AND he had _told him_ about it! _Holy Barbara, Bernadette and Céline, _what have I_ done_?

He knew instantly when the words came out of his mouth that he never should have admitted to Blaine what his true feelings were; no matter how angry or frustrated or pressured he had felt in that moment. He had imagined a hundred different scenarios over the past few months of how, one day, he would profess his love to Blaine! They all ended the same way: Blaine would reach for him, pull him into his arms and stare into his eyes, tears filling up his own hazel pools and he would say, "_My darling Kurt, you have no idea how I've longed to hear those words!_" Then Blaine would draw him even closer so that their bodies melded into one; taking Kurt's pale face into his strong almond hand, he would also declare his love with a fervent intensity. And then they would kiss; first hesitantly, then tenderly before succumbing to their mutual passion!

RING! RING!

Kurt gasped, ripped from his romantic reverie by the ringing of the telephone. "Hello?"

"Warbler Kurt? Warbler Wes here... "

What a pompous pansy. Kurt knew it must be _official _Warbler business as this was the only time Wes trotted out the pronouns.

"I'm calling to inquire if you are available to step in at today's performance as one of our members is out ill?"

Kurt was in no mood to be accommodating or entertaining. Any other time he would have anxiously jumped at the opportunity to be included in another performance, even if it was _just _at a nursing home. Directors and music producers had to visit their elderly parents too; and one of these days, Kurt just _knew_ that he would be discovered!

"In _Ohio_?" Blaine had laughed warmly with Kurt when he had shared his theory with Blaine..._Aaaah_, _Blaine._...

"Gosh, I'm really sick today Wes; must have caught a bug or something." Kurt did sound congested due to the many hours of shameful sobbing but he added an impromptu cough for good measure. "Really sorry I can't help you out..." _You pretentious pinhead! _Kurt finished the sentence silently in his mind.

"Hmmmm, seems to be a lot of that _Bug_ going around lately. Let's make sure that you and Blaine keep your..._germs _to yourselves when it comes to competition time!" Wes cautioned with an implied scolding.

"Blaine? What- he's the one who's off sick today? What's wrong with him? Is he going to be _okay_? Has he been to a doctor or does he need someone to take him to the hosp -?"

"Thank you for your concern Kurt..." Wes had cut off his panicked inquisition. "I'm sure that Warbler Blaine will be just fine - _eventually._ I'll pass your well wishes along. Sorry to have disturbed you." And with that, the line clicked dead.

Kurt's anxiety reached an anguished peak. Wes had not at all sounded concerned or sorry to have called him. He actually sounded detached and irritated. How could Wes not be worried about Blaine? They were roommates for god sakes! Why wouldn't he tell him what was wrong? Blaine _must_ be really sick and come to think of it, Blaine hadn't even texted him last night. Well, of course neither had he, but, but he was upset and embarrassed and _sobbing! _Of course he was in no condition to compose a lucid text message! Kurt considered his options; call him? Yes, he should call him to see if he's okay, see if he needed him to come and - suddenly a dark thought clouded Kurt's mind -

Uh! _Ohhhhhh._... Could it really be? Could Blaine be _"sick"_ today for the same reason that _he _had claimed to be?

* * *

><p>It was late afternoon. Except to shuffle downstairs in his slippers to grab a brownie, a bottle of water and to take a leak, Blaine had not emerged from his bed all day. He tormented himself, vacillating between self-hatred for pushing Kurt too far; and escaping his own responsibility by squarely placing the onus on Kurt. He didn't want this situation to be his fault. He couldn't live with himself to think that he had hurt Kurt or ruined their friendship. But he didn't want for it to be Kurt's fault either. Blaine hated the way it made him feel to harbour anger towards Kurt. It just felt so... <em>wrong<em>; almost sacrilegious to attribute such a negative emotion to such an innocent soul.

What the hell was wrong with him? It's not like there wasn't a new girl almost every week that went weak in the knees at the sight of Blaine or at the sound of his voice. This wasn't anything new to him. Blaine had become accustom to the adoration and longing; it rather amused him and no doubt he knew how to play it up to the fullest for his own entertainment. Besides, his charm and flirty smile made the girls feel special for a moment. What was so wrong with that? So why was this so different? Kurt was right of course– nothing had _really_ changed... So what if he knew that Kurt had a crush on him? Big Deal! But for some reason it _was _a big deal; Kurt wasn't just another starry-eyed, romance reading, boyfriend shopping, teenage girl. No, he was his classmate and fellow Warbler and..._Friend._

The door flew open and Wes entered throwing his blazer on the back of his desk chair.

"Good lord, it stinks in here! Did you even bother showering today?" Wes chastised as he pulled his shoes off and tossed them towards his closet, causing them to clunk heavily on the polished wooden floors. Blaine just glared at him.

"Quite obviously _not_ if that smear of chocolate on your darkly stubbled face and gel matted monstrosity on your head is any indication! You look homeless. It's gross."

"Not in the mood, Wes". Blaine lay his head back down on the pillow and closed his eyes in an attempt to dismiss his roommate.

"Yeah, well neither am I, but this little homo- hurricane that you and Kurt have going on is fucking up my choir not to mention my claim to leading the Warblers to our first place title at Nationals on my college application! So get your pathetic, self-indulgent, stink-ass up and get ready because this is going to be one hell of a long night if you don't start talking right quick!"

Under normal circumstances, Blaine would have blown Wes off like the annoying little gnat that he was. Like the arrogant _closet queer_ that he was! But it was that one word that caught Blaine off guard – the one word that made his stomach rock and his chest suddenly tighten, _Self-indulgent._ Was he really so selfish _and_ so transparent?

Grudgingly, Blaine kicked the covers down to the foot of the bed. He sat up, combing his fingers through his product knotted hair and sat crossed legged leaning back against his headboard. With a deeply exhaled sigh of defeat Blaine said, "Fine. Let's get this over with."

Wes leaned forward from his seat on his bed, hands folded over his knees and began, "You know, an interesting thing happened today. I was trying to find a replacement for you at our concert and the first name I thought of, the _most_ eager of all Warblers, was of course, Kurt. But when I called to offer him your spot he immediately declined. Apparently he too was strangely ill. So what do you make of that Blaine?"

"Okay Fine. We sort of had a, a _disagreement_ yesterday. But it was resolved. Maybe he _really is_ sick. How did he sound?" Blaine asked not sure if he really wanted to hear the answer.

"Like he had been up crying all night. Oh, and before you suggest that maybe he just had a _cold_, I could hear the distinctive painful chorus as only Jean Valjean can sing it, playing in the background"

Blaine's head dropped down into his hands, "Fuck".

"Now, if memory serves, I seem to recall that the only other times I've witnessed Kurt submerging himself in Les Mis, is when he lost the competition for a solo and during the final week that Oprah was on air. So you want to tell me again how the two of you _resolved_ your issues? Or do you want to cut the crap and tell me what _really _happened so that I can put my damn choir back together? Like I said, it could be a long night but the choice is yours". Wes ended with a self-satisfied shrug.

God Blaine hated Wes when he was smug. Hated him even more when he was right. "Kurt has ahh...he has _feelings_ for me. _Romantic_ feelings." Blaine arched his eyebrows to punctuate his statement.

"And?"

"And? And he has the hots for me! What do you mean _And_?"

"Surely you're not surprised by this?" Wes studied Blaine's perplexed and pained expression. "Oh – my - god , you are surprised!"

Blaine was instantly annoyed that Wes appeared to have some inside knowledge that he did not. "You're damn straight I'm surprised! We're not dating! We're best friends!"

"Really? Are you sure about that? Let's see; the two of you spend every day together, you coordinated this semester so that you would be in the same classes, you wouldn't dream of missing your standing _'coffee dates'_ with Kurt, you stood up to a football bully to protect him, you use him as your duet rehearsal partner even when you are more than prepared for your performances, you even went to his _father _to plead that the poor man educate his son on safer sex! Not to mention the googly-eyes that you make at one another during Warbler practice. It really is nauseating the other guys by the way. So if you think that all this is _just friendship_, then you are even more oblivious than I thought was humanly possible!"

"You know what Wes? You're a real dick. You have no idea what you're talking about!" Blaine knew he was enraged; knew that he was likely to go too far again. "_Most_ friendships aren't like yours and David's. _MOST_ people don't jerk their friends off when their girlfriend's refuse to put out!"

"Ouch. Jealousy will get you nowhere. I do believe we have a case of _he that doth protest too much_!" Wes gave a smug giggle.

"You know what? You can go to hell!" Blaine flopped down on his bed to a laying position once again then with great fanfare, turned his body over dramatically to face away from Wes.

"Very mature my oblivious and child-like friend. I have one recommendation and one thought to leave you with. Kurt is hurting - a lot. And my guess is that you had something to do with that. He is also very worried about you. You should have heard his reaction when I told him you were sick. It might have been precious if it hadn't been so sickeningly annoying. So as your Counsel Leader I am strongly urging you to call Kurt and kiss and make up. Or on second thought, go over there and do it in person. Much more enjoyable that way! If you're still adhering to the fable that you aren't in love with Kurt, or at least in _lust_ with him, the thought I leave you with is this... The next time you're rubbing one out, pay attention to whose face you're seeing in your fantasy. I'm sure you already know the answer to that one, but if not, you may find it revealing. And on that note, I'll take my leave. I suddenly have a strong urge to visit David's room!"

Blaine suddenly flipped around lobbing his pillow in Wes' direction, hitting the door just as it was closing. "Grrrrrrrr! ASSHOLE!" Blaine shouted after Wes. All he could hear was Wes, laughing in the corridor as he walked away.

* * *

><p><strong>TBC -<strong>If you liked the first chapter enough to read the second, and if you liked the second chapter enough to read it in it's entirety, then please Review! OR, if you have some _constructive_ criticism I am very open to that as well. Thanks!


	3. You've Got Mail

Hi, I know, I know...It's been a looong time. Sadly, I have some good excuses- family member dealing with cancer, chemo, in hospital, my little doggie dying of cancer, family chaos, etc, etc.  
>This chapter is more less a necessary transition chapter. Next chapter won't be too far away. (And it will likely have some mutual self-pleasuring...!)<p>

* * *

><p><strong>#3 - You've Got Mail<strong>

'Hey Kurt, how's it going?' -DELETE

'Hi Kurt, Blaine here' -DELETE

'How's my favourite Diva doing?' -DELETE

'So, about yesterday' -DELETE

_Uhgg!_ Blaine let his head fall back against the head board in frustration then banged it again a couple more times in the event that doing so would jostle the words out from his brain and down to the keyboard in his lap. He was at a complete loss. What could he possibly say to Kurt that would ease whatever emotional upset he was feeling when he didn't even know what _he_ was feeling himself? How was he supposed to preserve the friendship and show concern without showing _too much_ concern and giving Kurt the wrong idea? _This was so much easier with girls! _ One thing he did know, he HAD to get this email out tonight; otherwise classes would be unbearable for the both of them tomorrow.

* * *

><p>It had been a long, agonizing day for Kurt. He knew it was mostly self-inflicted, but how could he not torment himself with speculations as to what was wrong with Blaine? Was he really sick and was it serious? Was he not sick but instead too upset to perform? If he was upset, was it because he was angry or uncomfortable by what he now knew about his feelings towards him?<p>

Kurt's stomach heaved at the thought; luckily, it was empty save for a cup of tea sipped over two hours earlier. He had been nauseous ever since he had received the call from Wes. He couldn't bear the thought of having marred his friendship with Blaine. He really did love him and not _just _in a romantic way. In a short period of time, they had shared so much of themselves with one another; shared a pure, raw, honesty that bonded them intimately in a way that only the most unique and rarest of friendships could relate to. Kurt had never felt so connected and so understood by another human being. The mere thought of losing this caused his chest to tighten and his eyes to sting with tears of acid. As Kurt was wiping the last rogue tear from his cheek, he heard a gentle rap at his door. "Come in"

The door knob turned and Carole's head popped through the narrow opening; seemingly assessing the situation before opening the door wider and entering Kurt's room.

"Oh you poor baby! Look at you! Your nose is all red and your eyes are puffy and look at all these Kleenexes! Tomorrow we take you to the doctor to get this cold looked after."

Kurt would be lying if he said that he didn't savour the tender attention of a mother-figure in the home.

"I'm sure I'll be better by morning. I probably just need a good night's rest." He tried to say reassuringly as he didn't want Carole to worry about him needlessly. He felt a little guilty about leading her to believe that he was ill, but he just wasn't ready to talk about what had happened with Blaine. And really, he kind of was sick _– heart sick_ – which in his estimation was far worse than a pesky cold.

Carole leaned forward and pressed her lips to his forehead. "Well, you don't _seem_ to have a fever which is a good thing... I'll check you again in the morning. Maybe you should stay home tomorrow just to be on the safe side." She gave Kurt a look that said there was no "maybe" about it. He was staying home. Kurt was in no state to protest and quite frankly, he was feeling a bit of a coward. "Yeah, maybe you're right. Besides, I don't want to spread my germs to anyone else."

Carole gave him a warm smile, pleased that he had come around to her way so easily. "Can I get you anything? Some soup or toast or maybe another cup of tea?" Kurt contemplated her offer as the acid in his stomach continued to churn. "Umm, I wouldn't mind a few saltine crackers..." Carole reached over and tenderly tussled Kurt's hair. "Coming right up sweetie!" And with that, Carole practically pranced out of his room, happy to have a nurturing mission to fulfill.

* * *

><p>Blaine read the email over for the fourth time. He knew that he could review it twenty more times and still he would find reason to change a word here, or a sentiment there. It would never be perfect. It would never be...<em>good enough.<em> Not for Kurt anyway. Kurt deserved so much more than what he was offering. Blaine's finger hovered over the 'Send' button. _Common, stop being such a coward!_ He closed his eyes and his index finger came down on the keyboard. A moment later, the familiar _"Bing" _sounded; alerting Blaine that his "Message has been sent". The proverbial point of no return. He closed the lid to his laptop and pushed it towards the foot of the bed before reaching for his cell phone.

* * *

><p>Kurt was munching on his crackers and trying to distract himself by reading the Fall Edition of Good Housekeeping. It was another benefit to having a female figure in the house. Carole always passed her magazines on to Kurt when she was finished reading them; often times folding the corners down on the pages she thought might be of particular interest to him or writing her thoughts in the margins of articles that she believed would make good dinner table conversation. Although in this case, Kurt suspected that his "illness" prompted her to sacrifice this particular issue prematurely prior to having had an opportunity to fully read it. It was while perusing a DIY segment on how to make mini glittered pumpkin and gourd place card holders that Kurt heard the distinct buzz of his phone alerting him to an incoming text message. The magazine fell from his lap onto the floor as he dove across his bed and reached to retrieve his cell phone on his bedside table. His heart immediately started pounding when he saw the name – Blaine!<p>

XXX Chek UR email. I wrote U –Blaine XXX

Kurt sat himself at his desk in front of his computer. Taking a few steadying breaths to calm the churning in his stomach before clicking on the 'In Box'. He read each line of Blaine's email slowly, deliberately.

"_Hi Kurt,_

_Wes told me that you were concerned about me today when you thought that I was sick. I'm sorry to have worried you. The truth is that I wasn't actually ill. I just needed a day off and I didn't want to have to explain to the rest of the guys why I needed some alone time. I should have called to explain this to you myself. I'm sorry. _

_Wes also told me that you weren't feeling so well yourself today. I'm concerned that I may have contributed to your feeling...less than par. He mentioned that he could hear Les Misérable playing in the background. As your friend, I know that this is your go to soundtrack when you're feeling sad or disappointed. I guess we both had some things to work through today._

_Yesterday was kind of intense and I think that we are both still processing. I meant what I said to you; I don't want for what you told me or for my reaction to it to screw up our friendship. You were really brave admitting what you did; much braver than I could have been in your situation. And you're strong too; having these feelings all along and yet still keeping that clear line of friendship, well, I don't think I would have been able to do that. I admire you Kurt, for many reasons and I realize that there is a lot that I can learn from you._

_So, here's my attempt at being as honest as I can. I like you Kurt – a lot. You've become my very best friend in a short amount of time and I recognize that we connect with one another in a way that is different from what it's like with the other guys. I always assumed it was the "gay thing", or maybe the way we were both raised, or maybe it's something else entirely... I don't know. All I know is that I'm happy when I'm around you and I don't want to lose that._

_I don't want to be unfair to you though, so I have to tell you that my feelings are not exactly the same as yours are for me. I've just never really thought about you as a romantic option. Don't get me wrong; it's not because we don't share anything in common because I think you already get that we have more in common than anyone else; and it's not that you aren't attractive, because you are - very attractive. I mean, more than once I've caught other guys checking you out at the mall! Made me kind of jealous actually, I'm not use to sharing the attention! (Joking!) It's just that I started out sort of like a mentor to you and it would have been totally creeper-ish and inappropriate in that context to think of you in, in that way. And now that we're such great friends, I'm not sure how I would feel if our friendship suddenly changed into something else. I know I've been an oblivious bone-head and I'm sorry for any pain that I've caused you. I care about you Kurt, and I don't want to keep hurting you because of my own selfish needs or limit you from looking for other potential boyfriends. I'll admit it feels a little awkward now that I know what your feelings are but that's my problem; not yours and I can deal. But, if it is too difficult or uncomfortable for you to continue on in this friendship then I will understand. I'd miss you, but I would understand._

_So, I hope you're not mad at me; I can't bare it when you're angry. I know it's not necessarily what you want to hear but, it's about as honest and real as I can be right now. Just don't hate me, okay?_

_Blaine. "_

Kurt's heart was pounding, his head spinning so intensely that he felt as though he was going to fall off his chair. What did this _mean_ exactly? He thinks I'm "brave... strong...admires me..."? And did he really just write "_I'm happy when I'm around you... you are - very attractive... I care about you Kurt..."_

How could he do this? These were the words that he had been longing to hear almost since the first moment they'd met and yet, they didn't _feel_ the way they should; they were _tainted_ by his other comments, "..._my feelings are not exactly the same as yours are for me... never really thought about you as a romantic option." _It was like a dagger, like an ice-cold, steel dagger ripping through his flesh and piercing his heart. Why the mixed messages? How could he be so cruel?

Kurt read the email over a second time, then a third –fourth- and fifth. It never got any easier. A pattern was emerging though the more times he read Blaine's message; a pattern that he did not readily want to accept. Seven times. That was the number. Seven times Blaine had referred to him and their relationship as "friends" or "friendship". If that wasn't a blatantly clear message than he didn't know what was. Quite obviously the other comments were intended to lessen the blow and to allow Kurt to-preserve some dignity and self-esteem.

_"Well screw you Blaine Anderson! I don't need any of your charity or self-pity!" _

Kurt allowed the resentment and anger to burgeon within; to fill up every nook and cranny of his heart and soul until there wasn't an iota of room remaining for the pain to co-exist.

* * *

><p><strong>TBC<strong>


	4. Now I Lay Me Down

It had been almost two hours since he had sent Kurt the email. One hour and 48 minutes to be exact and still nothing. Not a text message, not a phone call, not an email. Nothing. It's not that he blamed him; he just _really _wanted something – anything that would give him an indication of where he stood with Kurt. Even a 'go to hell' would be better than nothing. At least then he would know to keep a respectful distance tomorrow. Uhgg! _Please don't let it be a 'go to hell'! _ He wasn't sure who he was pleading to –his Fairy Godmother, the Universe, God...? Minimally, he was grateful that Wes was sleeping out tonight. No doubt he would have annoyed the shit out of him to the point of torture had he been in the room tonight to see him checking his phone and computer every five minutes. Overwhelmed by the day's emotions and feeling defeated, Blaine decided to prepare for bed. He would keep his cell turned on and plugged in on his night table – just in case.

* * *

><p>Kurt had laid awake for the better part of the last two hours, playing Blaine's words in his head over and over again. Sometimes focusing on only the good parts but mostly ruminating on the parts of his email that to Kurt, were saying that he would never be good enough for Blaine, that he would never be boyfriend material. He knew he needed to get some sleep; <em>wanted <em>to sleep so that he could escape from this internal monologue of hurt and pain. Kurt pulled his body pillow to him and rolled on top of it, wrapping his arms and legs around it like he was a koala hugging a tree.

After his mother had died, he had spent night after night crying himself to sleep and telling his father that all he wanted to do was to hug her once again. It was his dad's cleaver idea to bring home a body pillow in the hopes that it would bring him some comfort and help him to sleep. And it did. It had stopped being a substitution for his mom several years ago but by then he was hooked. Now, he couldn't sleep without it and he loved the way the pillow moulded to his body. He especially liked sleeping on top of it on his stomach like he was on this night.

He closed his eyes and tried to think about anything other than Blaine – reviewing the definitions for tomorrow's science quiz, reciting the lines to his favourite scene in Evita, imagining swimming under the ocean and taking in the peace and the beauty of the jewel-tone corals and fish... It was futile. He knew it would be. So, against his better judgement, he allowed himself to think of the one thing that always lulled him off to a happy, contented sleep – his fantasy of Blaine professing his love for him. _You know you're pathetic Hummel; right? _He chastised himself but was too distraught to care. He could deal with the consequences tomorrow. Tonight he wanted one last romantic interlude.

* * *

><p>Blaine was in bed lying atop the blankets with his hands clasped behind his head staring up at the ceiling. He had been contemplating every possible scenario of what Kurt's reaction may have been after reading his email. None of the imagined scenes played out in a way that brought Blaine any solace. His stomach was in knots and he felt strangely sad; empty even. So, he decided to approach his predicament from a different direction. Since he obviously wasn't going to get Kurt off his mind tonight, he might as well feed the monster- to <em>envelope<em> himself in thoughts of Kurt in the hopes of isolating what _exactly_ it was that made his friendship with Kurt so meaningful to him and why it was that at this moment, the thought of hurting his friend didn't just make him feel badly, but made him feel so lost.

Blaine replayed as much of their time together as he could recall; the coffee dates, the shopping trips, the movie nights, the conversations of fashion and music, the way he felt when they sang together... He lingered on this last thought, recalling their last duet in as much detail as possible. He was smiling like a stupid Cheshire Cat lying there in his bed, remembering how happy he had been collaborating and creating with another musician who was so passionate and talented. He carefully watched the movie playing behind his eyes and realized that he was auto-focused on Kurt's face as he sang. _God, he really is attractive...how did I not notice that before? _Blaine took his time exploring the image of Kurt in his mind. He was tall and lean and fit; not muscular per se, but well toned. If asked, he knew that Kurt had blue-ish eyes, but wow, come to think of it, they were _so blue. _It was like looking into the crystal waters of the Bahamas or the Hawaiian Islands. He realized in hindsight, that he had often been drawn in by those sapphire pools when sitting across the cafe table from Kurt. Then Blaine moved further down his visage, taking in his lips as he watched him sing. Kurt's lips were so full and naturally ruby tinted like a pomegranate and they moved in such an inviting way when he sang...

Blaine's breath became a little deeper and when he felt that familiar twitch of pressure between his legs he panicked. _God Blaine, what are you doing? _He jumped from his bed and began pacing around his dorm room in the dark. _You cannot do this! Why are you thinking these things? It's Kurt for God sakes! Kurt, your best friend!_

* * *

><p>Kurt sank into his pillow and allowed himself to fall quickly into his Blaine fantasy. This time, he replayed their time under the tree yesterday, only this time, with a very different ending. Kurt professed his love and as per the usual script, Blaine welcomed the declaration and returned the same, drawing Kurt into his arms and kissing him passionately. It was usually at this point in the reverie that Kurt pulled away from their kiss, opting instead to cuddle in Blaine's arms as they talked about this new dimension to their relationship. But tonight was different. Tonight Kurt wanted more. He allowed the kissing to go on a little longer, introducing more wetness and licking of lips, really trying to experience the warmth of Blaine's mouth on his, to feel their tongues as they danced together, exploring each other's mouths. He imagined his hands caressing Blaine's body, drawing up his strong back and descending again down his chest; his fingertips lingering as they passed over his nipples and firm abs. He felt one of Blaine's hands reach up to the back of his neck and the other reach down to palm his ass, crushing Kurt's face and pelvis into him in a moment of unrestrained passion...Kurt heard himself moan – in real life - and it pulled him close enough to the surface to realize that he had been slowly undulating against his body pillow in response to the erection that was forming beneath him. For a moment he froze, shame consuming him. He had never allowed himself to get to this point while thinking about Blaine. It was a rule he had made; it felt... <em>disrespectful<em> to fantasize about his friend in a way that was anything more than innocent romance. But if his penis was any indicator, then this imagined scenario was heading in a direction that was anything but innocent.

* * *

><p>Blaine opened his window and leaned out into the cool night air. He needed to clear his mind, needed to focus; to figure out what the hell had just happened. As he looked out onto the night and inhaled the crisp air, it was Wes' words that came back to haunt him,<p>

"So if you think that all this is just friendship, then you are even more oblivious than I thought was humanly possible!... pay attention to whose face you're seeing in your fantasy. I'm sure you already know the answer to that one, but if not, you may find it revealing_."_

_So, okay, yeah. Maybe that's what I need to do – like an experiment. I told Kurt that I had never thought of him romantically and that I didn't really know what I felt, so maybe this is the way to reassure myself and ultimately him that my feelings are nothing more than friendship_.

Blaine closed the window and slipped back into bed, this time under the covers; resolved to follow this through to, to whatever the conclusion may be.

_An experiment, that's all it is. I'm alone in my room and my thoughts are my own and I'm not doing anything illegal..._ His attempts to normalize the situation were not successful. He found himself increasingly more anxiety ridden. He felt giddy. He knew it was just his nerves but what he didn't understand was the _why_? Why was he suddenly so nervous? Why was he hesitating to contemplate Kurt as a potential romantic interest? Why was he dragging this out and prolonging the inevitable? _Grow up Blaine! Get a pair and start fantasizing!_

And with that, he closed his eyes, took a deep breath and returned to where he had left off, admiring the eyes and lips of his friend as he sang to him.

* * *

><p>Kurt tried to make himself shake the images from his consciousness until he <em>didn't want<em> to shake them from his consciousness any longer. He was hurting and angry and lonely and Blaine would never be his. What would be so wrong with indulging, for just one night in a fantasy that would never play out in real life? He deserved at least that didn't he?

Kurt sank back into the scene; Blaine's hand on his backside, forcing their hips to press together, forcing their growing erections to connect through their clothing. Kurt kissed Blaine hungrily, drawing his bottom lip into his mouth then nipping at it between his teeth causing Blaine to gasp. He felt Blaine tilt his head away and Kurt responded with obedience. He moaned loudly as he felt Blaine's teeth sink into his neck then lick over the angry mark to soothe it. He felt the warm breath against his ear before he heard the actual words that Blaine cooed, _"God Kurt, you are so delicious, I want you so bad. I want to touch you. Please say that I can."_

Kurt was painfully hard; his grinding against the pillow brought him little alleviation. He wanted relief. He _needed _relief; the kind that only Blaine could give. Kurt's breath quickened, he could smell the sweat that was forming.

He grabbed Blaine's hand from his ass and brought it around to the front of him, resting it on his erection. Kurt and Blaine moaned simultaneously at the new sensation.

Kurt reached down between his body and the long pillow between his legs. Grasping his cock, he imagined it was Blaine's hand that squeezed him gently but firmly. He gasped.

_Oh Blaine! God yes, it feels so good!_ He whimpered as he stroked himself and humped his bed, all the while savouring the sight and sound and taste of Blaine in his imagination.

* * *

><p>Blaine reached up and stroked Kurt's cheek. He was so beautiful; he just had to feel that porcelain skin under his fingertips. Kurt stopped singing, the look of surprise and longing in those sea blue eyes. Blaine felt his stomach tighten, felt compelled to draw Kurt to him, to kiss him, to feel those plump lips against his. And so he did. Gently pressing his lips to Kurt's, slowly at first to gage Kurt's reaction. His friend closed his eyes and gave a delicate moan as he massaged his lips against Blaine's in return. It was all that Blaine needed; to know that Kurt wanted him as much as he wanted Kurt.<p>

The mood changed from that of gentle romance to animalistic need. Blaine imagined shoving his tongue into Kurt's mouth, feeling the hot saliva as Kurt's tongue met his. Blaine let out a gasp as Kurt's hands found their way to his ass and squeezed, digging his nails in until it hurt so good. Kurt bit his way up Blaine's neck, breathing hot air into his ear as he said _"I want to suck you. I want to suck you so hard until you beg me to finish you off. I want you to scream my name!"_

Blaine reached under the covers and ripped his boxers off, freeing his long hard dick. Without opening his eyes, he reached over to open his nightstand drawer, feeling for the bottle of Wet. Quickly he opened it and applied the gell to his hand.

Still lost in his fantasy he watched as Kurt tore off his shirt, then undid his pants, pulling them and his underwear down in one go. Kurt captured Blaine's eyes in his own and never looked away as he kissed his way down Blaine's body, stopping just long enough to bite Blaine's nipple, eliciting a sharp cry. _"Well, someone is happy to see me." _Kurt teased as he knelt down, face even with Blaine's crotch.

_Oh god Kurt, I want to feel those lips on my dick. Suck me; please take me into your hot mouth!_

And with that, Blaine lowered the lube-ready hand and stoked his steeled erection imagining that the slippery wet was Kurt's mouth wrapping eagerly around his cock. _Oh baby, yeah that's it, oh you feel so good. You are so beautiful when you're sucking me!_

With every vision of Kurt taking Blaine in deeper and tighter, Blaine's hand stroked himself harder and faster. He was so lost in ecstasy that he didn't know where fantasy ended and where reality began – and he didn't care. This was by far THE BEST, most intense masturbation session he had ever experienced.

_Oh Kurt don't stop, Uhgg! Baby please don't stop!_

* * *

><p><em>Blaine, Ohhh! I've waited so long for this, so long for you to touch me!<em>

"You like that baby? Mmmmmm, I like it too. You're so hard and so beautiful. I just want to make you come. Let me make you come baby."

_Oh god yes, yes please Blaine, please make me come!_

Kurt's pelvis was rocking, his hand pumping at a frantic pace. He had never before felt anything so intense.

_That's it, Ooooh god yeah that's it, Blaine – Oh Blaine don't stop! That's it!_

* * *

><p>And Kurt didn't stop either. Blaine watched with stupefied pleasure as Kurt's cheeks sunk in from the intensity of his suction. He envisioned himself reaching down, holding Kurt's head and twinning his fingers in his hair as he pumped into his mouth.<p>

_Oh Kurt you are so good! Such a good boy, Nmmm!, so close, oh god so close!_

* * *

><p><em><strong><strong>_"Come on Baby, make me come, make me come in your mouth Kurt!"

_Ahhh, Blaine! Yes! God, so good, can't hold it, can't.._

_** "**OH GOD, OH, OH YES, I'M COMING! "_

_I'M COMING! I'M – __AHHHHHH!"_

And with that, two young men, in two different towns, each in their own beds, simultaneously cried out one another's names into the still, dark night as their bodies convulsed with ecstasy!

* * *

><p><strong><em>TBC<em>**


	5. Comfortable Shoes

**Comfortable Shoes**

Blaine had the best night sleep of his life and awoke with crystal clarity and excitement over the prospect of a new chapter of his life about to unfold. Last night had not just been your average, run-of –the- mill, tension relieving jack-off. For the first time, he had felt intense emotion connected to his fantasy. As he had looked down at Kurt in his mind, those plump lips wrapped around his cock, his sapphire eyes staring back up at him, he realised that he felt more than just the sexual desire that usually accompanied such self-pleasing moments. He was stunned to recognize that he also felt affection and tenderness and true _attraction_ for the boy who until that moment had exclusively filled the role of "best friend" in his life. _God, I really have been obtuse! Poor Kurt, to think what I've put him through! Well today that ends._

Blaine was resolute. He knew exactly how he was going to handle this. A simple conversation and "will you be my boyfriend?" just wouldn't do. He needed to make a gesture; not a grand one, but definitely a romantic one, a _meaningful _one to convince Kurt to forgive his stupidity and to take a chance on him as his first ever boyfriend. Blaine picked up his cell and punched the speed dial button for Kurt's name.

* * *

><p>Kurt groaned when he was awoken by his alarm clock at 6:15 AM. <em>Damn<em>. He had totally forgotten to turn it off last night. It was only a matter of moments before the memories of yesterday and last night started flooding into his consciousness. _Oh god, last night! _ Kurt's heart sped up first out of residual desire, then, it quickly changed to panic when he recalled how he had violated his friend. Well, not _literally_, but he had pleasured himself using Blaine as motivation. _Uhgg! How could I have done that? It's so, so invasive! _The guiltsettled into a nice firm ball in the pit of his stomach. Thank God he didn't have to go to school today; Kurt wasn't sure that he would be able to face Blaine so soon without his cheeks burning with humiliation. Worse still, he wasn't all that confident that he could be around Blaine today without, shall we say, _rising to the occasion...? _He wouldn't have to contemplate his resolve for long because just then, his phone rang.

"Oh my god, Blaine? What's wrong? What's happened?" Kurt asked frantically.

"Hey, easy now. Everything is fine! Aw man, didn't you get my email? I'm fine, I wasn't really sick yesterday; I, I just needed some time to –" Kurt cut him off, the anger and resentment rising back to the surface.

"It's 6:30 in the morning Blaine! Not the usual time for a social call. OF COURSE I thought that something was wrong!"

"Oh Gees! I'm sorry Kurt! That didn't even occur to me. I just really wanted to catch you before you started getting ready for class." He sounded sincerely remorsefully but also altogether too chipper. What? Did he get off on shattering the dreams of young men? Was he elated by the knowledge that he had obliterated any hope that Kurt had of one day being with him?

"Well you caught me. So what is it that you want?" Blaine could hear the ice in Kurt's voice.

Now less sure of himself, he hesitated, "Umm, I was –ah, I was thinking that since everybody; well, almost everybody, already thinks that we were both sick yesterday, that maybe we could, you know, play hooky? Hang out for the day?"

There was a long pause on Kurt's end; his mind was racing, the answer _should be_ 'No' but at this moment, he couldn't seem to remember why that was supposed to be the best answer. All he knew was that his best friend, the man he was in love with, the man who had just hours ago broken his heart, wanted to spend time _alone_ with him today.

"Ahhh, Yeaaah... _Sure._" The words dragged from his lips hesitantly. "I _guess _that would be okay. Umm, it's gonna have to be after 8:30 AM though; Dad and Carole won't be leaving for work until that time and Carole had already decided that she was keeping me home today, so..."

"Great!" Blaine exclaimed with a little too much enthusiasm. "I'll pick you up shortly before 9:00am. Oh! And wear something old - that's comfortable; something that you wouldn't mind if it got dirty."

"Oh god please don't tell me that we're going to the _Happy Acres Petting Farm_?"

Blaine laughed –_giddily._ "_No, silly! _ Anyway it's a surprise so no pestering me. But _you are_ on the right track in terms of how you should dress! See you around 9:00am!"

"But Blaine...!" Kurt's sentence was cut short by the sound of Blaine's cell disconnecting.

_What have I gotten myself into? _

* * *

><p>Blaine hesitated on the Hummel's front porch; his confidence faltering, his excitement waning; quickly being replaced by nerves. <em>Come on Anderson, don't screw this up!<em> An ever so slightly trembling hand rose from his side and reached forward, grasping the handle of the door knocker and releasing it twice on the brass plate.

* * *

><p>Kurt stood behind the front door trying to compose himself. He was in no way ready to face Blaine. First there was the lingering hurt of rejection, then there was the fear of a damaged friendship, not to mention the <em>humiliation<em> that he couldn't possibly disguise from what he had visualized last night, and finally the anger he felt towards Blaine for eliciting all of the aforementioned emotions from him. _Well, that's just going to have to be Blaine's problem. It's his fault that I'm feeling this way and besides, I'm not the one who requested this clandestine meeting!_

Kurt watched his own hand turn the knob to open the door as if the appendage belonged to some other body. His eyes met Blaine's but only for a moment before he looked away.

"Uh, hey Kurt." Blaine heard his voice – strained and an octave higher than usual. Self-consciously he lowered his head and shoved his hands deep into the pockets of his faded, torn jeans.

"Yeah, hi." Was all that Kurt could muster in return. _Uggg, why did he have to look so hot? _Kurt could see just a bit of Blaine's hairy leg, visible through the horizontal tear just above the left knee of his well-worn blue jeans. It made him look more of a man then an awkward adolescent. _Hmmm, I wonder if his chest is hairy too...? STOP! _Kurtshook his head emphatically as if doing so, would dislodge the image of Blaine's shirtless chest from his mind. He noticed Blaine's face change into a puzzled look in response.

"So, are we going or what?" Kurt asked nonchalantly, raising an eyebrow to punctuate the question.

Blaine looked back at Kurt with what appeared to be a forced smile.

"Umm, yeah." Glancing down again, Blaine suddenly noticed Kurt's fashion forward foot ware. "You may want to change your shoes Kurt..."

"I thought you said no animal dung?" Kurt protested.

"Well, technically that is true but you might want to wear something a little more _comfortable_..."

Kurt looked down, for the first time noticing Blaine's soiled and beat-up sneakers. He huffed dramatically to emphasize the inconvenience. Turning back inside the doorway he leaned forward, bending down into the coat closet in pursuit of more appropriate foot ware. His answer to Blaine was muffled but audible and Blaine smiled to himself as he heard Kurt's demand.

"Fine. I'll change, but don't even _think_ of taking me anywhere until you have first taken me for coffee!"

"Already taken care of Monsieur and waiting for you in the chariot!" Blaine winked at Kurt, bent at the waist and made a grand sweeping gesture with his hand towards his waiting vehicle at the curb.

Kurt huffed again, pulled the door behind him and bypassed Blaine on his way to the vehicle_. Yes, aloofness and sarcasm would do him just fine today._

"You keep pretending, but I _know_ you think I'm a little bit awesome!" Blaine said playfully.

Kurt whipped around to protest until he saw the teasing gleam in Blaine's eyes. _Thank goodness! He's himself! And he's acting like we're still friends!_ Kurt felt a small weight lift from his chest.

"Humph! Don't flatter yourself!" With that, Kurt lowered himself into the car and pulled his door closed with a little more force than was necessary. He wasn't watching but, he could have sworn he heard Blaine laugh a little and say "_Adorable!_"

* * *

><p>Kurt marvelled to himself at the beautiful fall colours that whipped past his window in a blur. A kaleidoscope of reds and yellows and oranges. Autumn was most certainly his favourite season of the year. Even the air had a cool, earthy scent that somehow Kurt found comforting and familiar. In between the patches of russet and gold, rivers of wheat swayed and the odd horse or jersey cow could be spotted in the fenced pastures of the farmer's property fronts.<p>

It was a peaceful scene and a relatively quiet ride with the exception of Kurt's well-timed and pestering questions; "Where are we going? How far is it? Will they have food there? Why do I need comfortable shoes? Will there be any witnesses close enough to hear my screams?..." Kurt continued on for the better part of the 75 minute ride; anything to fill the silence and distract Blaine from initiating any conversation regarding the status of their friendship. Of course, Blaine never did answer any of Kurt's questions in a meaningful way.

"You'll find out when we get there. A bit further. Depends on what you consider food. Why would you wear anything but? For both our sakes, let's hope not..."

"Grrrr! Blaine Anderson, you are so infuriating! I feel like I'm 7-years-old and on a road trip with my parents. Could you possibly be any more vague?"

"Possibly!" Blaine laughed again; he was doing a lot of that today Kurt noted. "It's – a – surprise." He punctuated each word.

"Yeah? Well if I don't get out of this _freakin'_ car in the next 10 minutes then I'll have a _surprise_ for you – all over your new floor mats!" Kurt's irritation clearly reaching its boiling point.

"Easy killer. As it would so happen, we are here!" The last part of the sentence tumbled from Blaine's mouth as he turned the car off of the main road and onto a gravel path. As the car proceeded along, the small stones crunched beneath the tires and threw up dust smoke into the air. The trees to either side of the vehicle came in closer to the path and grew more dense until the car could traverse no further. Blaine stopped the vehicle and shut off the ignition.

Blaine turned to Kurt as he undid his seatbelt. "Okay, let's go!"

"Go? Go where?"

"Hiking!" Blaine smiled before getting out of the car and reaching into the back seat to pull out a rather large back pack.

"Oh my god. You're going to kill me. You're going to kill me out where nobody will hear me scream and then you're going to wrap my body in tarps and dig a shallow grave with the travel shovel you have in that enormous pack!" Kurt's eyes were wide as saucers. In Kurt's opinion, Blaine might as well just kill him – no worse than dragging his delicately conditioned body through the woods that lay before them.

Blaine laughed again, shaking his head in mock disapproval. "You are SUCH a Drama Queen!"

Kurt folded his arms tightly across his chest and stood in a firm stance, glaring at Blaine.

"Oh come on now! I was only joking. Don't go getting your Fruit of the Looms all twisted up in a knot." Kurt didn't move a millimetre. "Hmmmm, not even a smile? Wow, you really are a tough cookie to crumble! Okay, here's a serious question – all joking aside - do you trust me?"

Blaine was looking into Kurt's eyes so intently, pleading silently with him. It was more than he could resist. "Yes Blaine, of course I trust you. But what does that have to do with why we're out in the middle of nowhere about to become a couple of poorly dressed shish kabobs for some ferocious woodland creature?"

Blaine tilted his head off to one side and raised an eyebrow asking, "What if I promise you that you will not be eaten; at least not today? And what if I tell you that there is a very special surprise waiting for you that I think you will really enjoy? Will you come hiking with me then?"

Kurt could feel his cheeks flushing. He lowered his arms and faked irritation, "Unfair play. You darn-well know that I can't resist surprises!"

"Ah well, lucky for me then that you are such a weak specimen! You know what they say; 'all's fair in love and war'!" Blaine winked at Kurt and turned to start walking down a narrow dirt path.

* * *

><p><strong>TBC<strong>


	6. I Wanna Hold Your Hand

_Okay Folks, _my feelings are getting hurt... if you've been following this story (and I know you have), please review, tell me what you think so far! :-( [sad puppy-dog face!]

* * *

><p><strong>#6 - I Wanna Hold Your Hand<strong>

Kurt sighed and as he followed Blaine's lead, thought to himself, _What am I doing here? First of all in the filthy, bug infested woods and secondly with Blaine – Alone! You really are masochistic aren't you? Well, I'm here now so might as well make the best of it. At least it's an opportunity to repair any damage done to our friendship as a result of me opening my huge, boy-crushing mouth! Uhgg. I'll consider it fodder for my future memoires..._

"_Kurt?_ Kurt? KURT?" Blaine raised his voice startling Kurt out of his inner monologue.

Kurt gasped, "Yes! What?"

"Hey, what have you got going on in that creative head of yours? You looked so deep in thought; you didn't even hear me call your name."

Kurt knew it wasn't an accusation as he could see the bemused look of curiosity on Blaine's face; his chiselled, handsome, gorgeous – "Uh, nothing" His voice practically squeaked in answering.

Blaine laughed slightly to himself, "Are you sure about that?"

"Yeah; I mean I was just thinking...that I hope I don't encounter any snakes or man-eating arachnids or an especially bitter racoon."

Blaine smiled and shook his head. "You're going to be fine. I promise. I won't let anything happen to you. Soooo, _okay_?"

"Okay; but just be aware that if a hungry bear decides it's dinner time, friends or not, I am totally outrunning your ass!"

Now Blaine was full out laughing. "Fair enough! Come on, let's go."

The boys walked side by side mostly in silence down the dirt and wood-chip path, encountering the odd fallen branch or small boulder that required climbing over. Kurt was surprised to realize how much he was actually enjoying himself. Not just because he was with Blaine; although let's be real here, it certainly didn't hurt! But he previously had no idea how truly beautiful a forest could be. The symphony of crickets and buzzing insects mingled with the bird calls and the sound the wind made as it rustled the slightly crisping autumn leaves. Kurt felt as though he were walking through an exquisite painting. Every hue of just about every colour surrounded him; it was absolutely breathtaking, nothing short of visual poetry. He was even enjoying the smells. The freshness of the moss, the muskiness of the slightly damp earth and the fragrance of the multitude of fallen leaves that pooled and crunched around their feet as they journeyed forward.

Blaine kept sneaking sideways glances at Kurt, trying to assess his mood. "You're miserable out here, aren't you?" He sounded so defeated that it brought Kurt up short.

"No! Oh my God, why would you think that?"

Blaine looked sceptical as he continued, "Well, I know that this isn't really your thing; I mean, it's dirty and there are critters scurrying about and it certainly doesn't lend well to a fabulous wardrobe. And you've been so quiet..." Blaine's voice trailed off.

Kurt felt his chest tighten. How could he have given Blaine this impression? He had to fix it, had to make him understand. "To be honest, when you first pulled up here _I _thought I'd be miserable; But, but this has just been so amazing!"

Blaine raised a doubting eyebrow at Kurt.

"Honestly! I've been so quiet because I've been completely enraptured! I've always been a city boy; I never did things like this growing up because I didn't think that I would like it. But Blaine, this –you have brought me to a place of pure beauty and peace and wonder!"

Blaine's chest puffed with pride and even more so, relief. He smiled affectionately at Kurt. "I'm really glad to hear you say that. This has always been a special place to me and I wanted - was _hoping_ that it would be that way for you too."

For a brief moment, Kurt felt a flutter in his chest and sensed that his cheeks were growing warm. Rather than risking embarrassing himself, he simply smiled back at Blaine then quickly looked away as if he was taking in more of the view off to the side. It was only moments later when he heard Blaine's urgent voice,

"Kurt! Watch out!"

Kurt immediately froze expecting the worse but when he whipped his head back towards the path, what he saw was an enormous tree that had fallen, blocking their way and he had just been about to walk face first into one of the branches that was jutting out.

"WHOA!" Kurt quickly arched his body back to avoid the collision; his heart racing from the sudden shock. "Oh my God Blaine, you totally just saved me from taking my head off!"

"Yeah, no kidding! Good thing for your quick reflexes! " Blaine looked back, contemplating the tree, "Hmmm, this tree hasn't been down long at all – like, less than 24 hours maybe."

It seemed to Kurt to be an odd and very specific comment. "How can you tell?"

"Okay, can you see down at the other end where the roots have pulled out?" Blaine placed an arm around Kurt's shoulders and gently turned him in the direction to which he was referring. Kurt could swear his heart skipped a beat but as quickly as the arm appeared, it fell away once again.

"Umm, yeah. Wow. That looks totally creepy; like the roots are a giant, gnarled hand reaching out to grab at us!"

Blaine chuckled. "Yeah, I guess you're right. It does kinda look that way. But do you see the clumps of earth still clinging to the roots?" Kurt nodded, a quizzical look on his face not understanding where Blaine was going with this. "Well, it rained yesterday afternoon – hard. Remember?"

Kurt still wasn't cluing in and he felt somewhat self-conscious for not understanding what Blaine obviously thought that he should.

"If this tree had fallen_ before _we got the rain, then a lot of that soil would have been washed away from the roots. The fact that they are still so encrusted makes me think that the tree must have fallen _after_ we had the storm."

"Huh. That makes sense. Seems so obvious when you explain it. What, were you a boy-scout or something?" Kurt teased and grinned at Blaine.

Blaine averted his eyes and lowered his head but not before Kurt saw the flush spreading across his cheeks. "Ah, _yeah_... actually, I was."

Kurt giggled with delight. "Oh my God that is just too precious! I can just see you with little beige knee shorts and a forest ranger hat. You must have been adorable! Ooooh! Pictures! I want to see pictures!"

"Okay, okay, enough with the_ let's mercilessly tease Blaine_!" His face now a full scarlet red but with a sheepish grin that made Kurt feel even more enamoured.

"Alright, I'm sorry, I'll behave..." Kurt bent his right arm up at his elbow and raised two fingers, "Scouts Honour!"

"Oh you little bugger!" Blaine made to take a playful swipe at Kurt's hair, lunging forward without noticing the smaller, lower branch reaching out at mid-calf. It caught his jeans and he tripped; falling over the branch and coming to a landing on the ground with a hard "thud".

"Blaine!" Kurt exclaimed as he ran over to check on the well-being of his friend. "Are you okay?"

The only response from Blaine was laughter. And not just a giggle, but full out belly laughs until the tears were starting to spring from his eyes.

"Blaine? Wha – are you _laughing_?" This made Blaine roar even harder. "Blaine! It's not funny! You could have hurt yourself! Now get up."

Blaine tried desperately to regain his composure before answering, "I – I _can't!_" and the chortling started once again. It was infectious, and before Kurt knew it, he too was doubled over, the pair of them convulsing until their sides ached and they were gasping for air.

"OHHH!...OH MY! HAAAA...OKAY, Okay... Okay, I'm good now!" Blaine was calming himself, still panting to get oxygen back into his lungs. "Help me up, give me a hand." From his awkward position on the ground, Blaine reached up towards Kurt. Kurt grasped Blaine's hand then braced one foot against the trunk of the tree before giving a firm pull and grunting from the exertion.

Blaine jerked up – awkwardly and stumbled for a moment before regaining his footing.

"Uhggn! -_Thanks_ _Kurt._"

"Yeah, yeah. Boy Scout my ass. I have no idea _what_ you'd do without me!" Kurt feigned annoyance.

"Quite frankly, neither do I." Kurt's head turned sharply to meet Blaine's gaze. It was not a teasing look as Kurt would have expected but rather he found that Blaine was smiling at him and looking... _sincere._

"Come on. Let's keep going." Blaine prompted.

Realizing that he was still holding Blaine's hand from helping him up, Kurt loosened his grasp and made to pull away when he suddenly felt Blaine's grip tighten, refusing to release his hand. Kurt looked quickly down at their entwined hands, then immediately back up to Blaine. Blaine simply smiled at him then turned to step over the trunk of the tree, pulling Kurt behind him and helping him over as well.

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><p><strong>TBC<strong>


	7. Somewhere Only We Know

So I've reached the last chapter of this story – Finally!

From angst, to heartache, to smut to fluffy romance. Tried to give you a little of everything. Hope you enjoy this final chapter, and if you do, let me feel the love...Review!

Oh, and this chapter as well as the last were written as an homage to the song that Blaine sang to Kurt when Kurt returned to McKinley.

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><p><strong>#7 – Somewhere Only We Know<strong>

_Okay, Okay, calm down; don't make this about something it isn't. Blaine is your FRIEND, we've already established that. And besides, it not like this is the first time he has held your hand; as a matter of fact, within moments of meeting him for the first time on the Dalton staircase he was dragging you to the Warblers performance. That's just Blaine, he likes to touch._

Kurt was desperately trying to calm himself internally. This was just too much for him to bear. First the invite for today's rogue trip to the forest which was Blaine's _special place_, then the whole "I'll protect you" thing and now the hand holding. _He KNOWS how I feel about him. Why would he do this to me? It's almost cruel which is so unlike Blaine! Grrrrrr! Focus! None of this has to MEAN anything if you don't attach any meaning to it! Just enjoy it while you can and be grateful that you have such an open and accepting friend..._

Blaine noticed Kurt's silence once again and worried, _Maybe he's just taking in the view or maybe he's thinking about a song or maybe he's just enjoying being out here with me, or maybe...he's totally freaking out that I'm holding his hand! Oh God! I'm actually holding his hand! _

Blaine felt his heart begin to race and his breathing quicken. He vacillated wildly between exuberant excitement of being there alone with Kurt; of _touching _Kurt - a _BOY_ and sheer terror that Kurt would reject him or become angry or think that he was being too forward. The silence was too much; Blaine knew that if he didn't break it, he would lose his nerve for what he had planned.

He turned towards Kurt, trying so hard to keep a pleasant and neutral expression, "So I have an idea to help pass the time for the rest of our walk. It's a game of sorts; a question game. Wanna play?" Blaine looked hopeful as he posed the question to Kurt.

"Ummm, yeah, sure." As if he could have answered any other way. When had he ever been able to resist those watery hazel eyes? "What kind of question game?"

"Well, we take turns asking each other questions one question at a time. It can be anything at all, from every day stuff like what's your favourite colour, up to ... well anything really. But the rule is that no matter how embarrassing or personal the question, you _have _to answer it truthfully. You're allowed two passes though, so if there is a question that you just can't bear to answer then you can pass on it and get a new question. But be careful, because once you use both passes there are no more, which means you could be asked an even more terrifying question and have no choice but to answer it! So, what do you think? Feeling brave?"

"Hmmm, let me think about that... I've survived coach Sylvester's sabotage, Karofsky's homophobia, Rachel Berry's personality, a gay sex talk with my father (notice how I said the _'S'_ word?) and now I'm traipsing through a forest with the possibility of unknown creatures pouncing on my delicate but well toned frame with the intention of ripping me limb from limb. So ya, I guess I'm feeling pretty brave!"

Blaine laughed, shaking his head in amusement. "Point well taken. I'll start. Kurt, are you a cat person or a dog person?"

"Seriously? That's the terrifyingly embarrassing question you ask me?" Kurt chastised playfully.

"I'm starting you off slowly, fostering a false sense of security before I spring the good questions on you! Now answer the question; cat or dog?"

"Alright, alright. Ummm, I guess I would have to say that I'm a... cat person. They don't submit to anyone and they generally keep themselves impeccably groomed."

"Ugg, I should have thought that one through better; very predictable!" Blaine teased.

"Never mind. My turn! Blaine, what is your favourite amusement park ride?"

"Oooo, good one! Definitely the Tilt-O-Whirl! I use to love riding it as a kid and throwing my weight to the left and right trying to make it spin faster and faster! That is, until the time I threw up my corndog on the employee who was unlatching the doors when the ride had come to a stop. Yeah, I think that was the year I was banned from the Lima Country Fair."

Kurt's eyes grew round, he had almost forgotten that Blaine was still holding his hand when he asked, "Are you serious?"

Blaine put on a stern face, "Hey, only one question per turn!" Kurt started pouting, pushing out his bottom lip in protest... _his plump, red, juicy lip that was just begging to be –_

"Yeah, okay, so... Ummm, if you could magically become any man you wanted to be, real or fictional, who would you be?"

Kurt paused, swallowed hard then decided that his pride would not allow him to answer this question. "Pass."

Blaine looked at Kurt with intrigue in his eyes, "Are you sure? You know the rules, means you'll get another question."

"Yes, I'm sure. Give me your best." Kurt challenged Blaine.

"Okay then, the last time you _pleasured_ yourself,..." Blaine, placing the emphasis on the word _pleasured_, "who were you thinking of?"

"BLAINE!" Kurt's face instantly caught on fire as the images of last night's fantasy revisited his memory. Without thinking, he made to tear his hand away from Blaine and cover his face but Blaine was unrelenting and kept Kurt's hand firmly grasped in his own.

Blaine disguised his amusement with innocence. "What? You said you wanted a new question!"

Kurt's irritation seeped back in if only for a moment. "Okay, fine! I'll answer your first question but no laughing. _I'm serious!_" Blaine used two fingers to simulate the act of crossing his heart.

"Uhgg! You can be so frustrating! I would like to be..." Kurt lowered his head and voice, "...Edward Cullen from the Twilight series."

"Haaaahhh! You're _serious,_ aren't you?" Blaine was in near hysterics.

"You _Promised!_" Kurt accused as his humiliation consumed him inch by fiery inch.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Blaine barely choked out the words, trying to reign himself in. "Go on, really, I'm, I'm listening!"

Kurt scowled at Blaine. "You know, there happens to be a great number of advantages to being an immortal. Like, well, for starters, being immortal! Think of all the historical moments you could be witness to? And then there's the fashions! _Centuries _of fashion! Consider the eras of men wearing heeled boots, powdered wigs, skirts! AND, surely you know about the origin of the Olympics... all those Grecian men competing with no clothes on!"

Blaine chuckled, "Well yes, I guess you do have a valid point there... but that doesn't explain why you would _specifically _want to be Edward?" Blaine furrowed his eyebrows in question.

"Technically, that IS another question, but I'll answer it anyway; just to show what a good sport I am!" Kurt stuck the tip of his tongue out at Blaine playfully. "You see, Edward has to be _The Most_ romantic character I have ever known. He has saved himself for _centuries_ for his true love! And when he finds her, he still puts her needs and her safety ahead of his own – even at the risk of his own destruction! And his proposal! Ahhh! It was so, _so beautiful_ and heartfelt and honest! They just don't make men like that anymore!"

"Hey now! I happen to be very romantic, thank you very much!" Blaine whined with indignation.

"Hmph, I wouldn't know!"

"AND I've saved myself too... granted not for 100 years but, still!"

"Okay, you get bonus points for that but – can you _sparkle?_" Kurt mused.

Blaine hunched over grabbing his chest with his free hand, "Ouch! You _wound _me! I think I'd have a better chance with Bella!"

In that moment Kurt realized too late that he had unintentionally squeezed Blaine's hand in response to his comment. _What is this boy doing to me? Better chance? What does he mean by that? It doesn't have to mean anything unless you ... Yeah, yeah I know!_

"Anyway, it's my turn." Kurt said moving on from his annoying inner voice. Pausing, he thought carefully about his next question. He was having fun but, there were things that he really wanted to know about Blaine.

"Have you, I mean, do you ever wish that you were... _straight?" _ He struggled getting the last word out, a word that was everything that he was not, a word that he had learned to long for and to resent in equal measure.

Blaine's pace slowed and he turned sad hazel eyes to Kurt before looking down at the ground as he continued on with his steps. "Yeah, sometimes I do. I mean, you know, it would have made a lot of things easier like with family and friends and stuff..."

His voice trailed off and Kurt was seized by Blaine's stifling melancholy. "Blaine, you don't have to – I'm sorry I-"

"No. It's okay. I could have passed on the question if I wanted to, that's the game." Blaine gave Kurt a faint smile.

"I use to want to be straight a lot more often than I do now. My parents didn't take it so well; my being gay that is, at least my dad didn't anyway and my mom...well, she's always catered to my father so... Now my older brother, he's the golden child. Grades weren't very good but always popular, tons of friends, captain of every team sport he joined, girls standing in line... And then there was me; a bit of an academic nerd, sucked at all sports, joined drama and music and dance right from grade school. And when my turn came for the girls, well they were standing in line for me too, but none of them grabbed my attention quite as much as the boy who drove the ice-cream bicycle the year I was fourteen." Blaine gave Kurt a warm smile when he saw the curious look on Kurt's face.

"It was his summer job – a small chest freezer mounted on a bicycle frame, like an ice-cream truck, only smaller and with cheaper labour! His name was Stephan, maybe a year or two older than me and he made a point of coming down our street every day, sometimes twice a day, knowing that I was good for a sale. I think I put 10 pounds on that summer!" Blaine laughed as he was reliving the memory. Anyway, one day I was eating my ice-cream sandwich while talking with Stephan in front of my house and he told me that I had ice-cream on my lips. I licked my lips to clear it off but he said it was still there. Then he leaned towards me and kissed me. I was so shocked I didn't know what to do – so I ran back into the house. He never came down our street again that summer. Must have thought that he freaked me out. It wasn't until a couple of years later that I found out that my father had seen the whole thing through the living room window. He hadn't said anything to me at the time but then again, he didn't really have to because he just wasn't the same with me ever again after that. So yeah, sometimes I use to wish that I was straight. But now most of the time, I'm pretty happy to be me, just the way I am – a singing, dancing, boy-lovin' nerd!" Blaine flashed a wide white smile at Kurt.

"Well I for one am happy with _just the way you are_." The words were out of Kurt's mouth before he realized what he had said. _Damn it! Shut Up, Shut Up, SHUT UP! _

Blaine chuckled, "Well, that's very good to know! Hey look, we're almost there!"

Kurt faced forward but all he saw was that the path they had been following had slowly been narrowing and was now nearly nonexistent. "Almost where? I think we took a wrong turn or something... the path's ended and I hadn't noticed but we're surrounded by _really dense _forest!" Blaine could hear the concern in Kurt's voice.

"Oh ye of little faith!" Blaine stopped walking and turned to Kurt, "Tell me what you hear?"

"What I hear?"

"Yeah. What do you hear that is _different _from what you have been hearing along the way?" Kurt could see that Blaine had a twinkle in his eyes.

"Blaine, I don't know. Enough with the riddles. I didn't get the mud on the tree thing and I'm not going to get this one either!" Kurt was getting frustrated. Everything had been so perfect! The last thing he wanted was for Blaine to think that he was an idiot.

"Come here." Blaine spoke softly as he pulled Kurt closer. Releasing Kurt's hand, he placed his own hands on Kurt's shoulders. "Now close your eyes."

"Wha-"

"You said you trust me so close them." Kurt squinted, closing one eye then hesitantly closing the other. "Okay, now take a deep, slow breath and tell me what you hear."

Kurt couldn't help but to obey. Blaine's voice was so smooth, his hands on his shoulders felt warm and soft and strong all at the same time. Kurt drew a deep breath in and as he slowly exhaled, he realized that indeed, there was a new sound.

"Water? Is that moving water that I hear?" Kurt opened his eyes.

"Awesome! See? You got it! You just needed to ground yourself and tap into this organic environment!" Blaine was excited and Kurt wasn't exactly sure why. He was just happy that he hadn't failed the test and that Blaine was pleased with him.

"But I don't understand...This is thick brush, where is the water coming from?"

"I'm glad you asked! Follow me!" Blaine grabbed Kurt's hand again and was off before Kurt could even process what was happening. Blaine led them into the dark curtain created by the canopy above and the dense trunks below. Branches tugged at their jackets and leaves brushed across their faces.

"Blaine! We're going to get lost!" Kurt now felt the panic setting in.

Blaine actually _giggled_, "Trust me, I know this area like the back of my hand!"

And so he did. They couldn't have hiked more than 2 minutes when suddenly they came upon a tiny stream winding its way through the woods.

"This, this is incredible!" Kurt marvelled. "Where is it coming from? Or going to?"

Blaine smiled, pleased to see Kurt's eyes light up yet again. "I don't know actually. I've followed it both ways – about 20 or so minutes each way before the brush or the boulders became impassable. I guess it will always be just one of Mother Nature's mysteries!"

Kurt crouched down, letting the cool water flow though his fingers. He smiled to himself as a small wayward crimson maple leaf rode the ripples and continued on past Kurt's hand; thinking to himself, _your life may be complete for this season, but you will learn the secret of where the river ends... _As Kurt raised his head while standing up, he noticed daylight streaming through the trees just ahead of them. "What's down there?" Kurt asked, gesturing towards the direction with his chin.

"Hmmm, maybe we should go and check it out...?" Blaine proposed while arching an eyebrow. The boys leapt over the narrow stream and wove their way carefully through the pillars of bark.

"I think it's a clearing Blaine! Come on!" Kurt picked up his pace and Blaine let him lead the way. Just as Kurt took his last step out of the darkened forest and into the light, he stopped short and gasped.

"Amazing! Oh my God, this is so beautiful!" Kurt turned back to gauge Blaine's reaction only to find him grinning in an all-knowing way. "You, you _knew_ this was here? Uhgg, yes Kurt, _of course_ he knew it was here!" Kurt chastised himself out loud for his naiveté.

Blaine smirked at his reaction. "Do you always do that? You know, get irritated with yourself? Because if you two need a moment, I can just step away until you're ready and - _Owww!_"

Kurt playfully smacked Blaine on the bicep. The two were now both laughing.

What appeared before them was a small field; a clearing in the middle of the forest. Amber and russet trees surrounded all sides and the tiny stream passed right through the centre. In the distance, just to right of the stream was the most majestic weeping willow tree that Kurt had ever seen.

"Oh Blaine, It's magnificent!" Kurt picked up his pace making a line for the tree. "I can't believe this; it's so out of place here and yet the most perfectly wonderful secret! I LOVE willow trees! Back at Dalton my most favourite thinking place is –" Kurt halted instantly as he recalled the last time he had been sitting under the willow on the back property of Dalton. Blaine had been there also and it had been one of the more heart-wrenching moments of Kurt's adolescent life.

Blaine felt Kurt's hand go slack in his own. "Kurt? Kurt look at me." Blaine used his free hand to gently turn Kurt's chin so that he was facing him. His sparkling blue eyes now truly looking like crystal pools as the tears began to fill them, threatening to spill at any moment. Blaine felt like someone had punched him in the gut. He had never wanted to hurt Kurt.

Blaine reached for Kurt's other hand as well, holding them both and looking deep into Kurt's eyes , "I know what you're thinking about; what you're _remembering_, and that's why I brought you here. You have so few places of peace and comfort in your life and I just couldn't be responsible for taking this one away from you. This was my special place when I was growing up and now I want it to be yours also."

Blaine waited for a response but instead, his words were met by silence. He could see Kurt's mind racing behind those sad azure eyes. "I – I packed a pick-nick for us..." Blaine shrugged a shoulder and nodded his head towards the back-pack he'd been hauling all day. Kurt's eyes narrowed and he tilted his head to the side as he was trying to grasp what was happening. Blaine's nerves finally frayed; this was the moment and it was not happening at all the way he had planned. "Look! On the other side of the tree, see? I was here earlier and I laid out the blanket and the candles and ..."

Kurt turned his head, taking in the full site of the tree. Sure enough, there was a red and white checkered pick-nick blanket spread out under the languid emerald branches. Off to the side of the blanket was a small portable radio/CD player and directly centre, was a low arrangement of harvest coloured flowers. Then at once, a brief bright light caught Kurt's eye and he raised his head to gaze up into the tree. Hanging from the branches at all different heights were Mason jars, each with a tiny tea-lite inside. Kurt drew in a deep breath then slowly turned back to Blaine.

"I, I don't understand... What – " It was all he could manage.

Blaine's grip on Kurt's hands tightened and he could feel his heart start to race. "You know when we had _that talk_ the other day and you, you told me how you _felt_ about me? And I told you that I needed some time to figure out my own feelings?" Kurt simply gave one subtle nod of the head. "Well, I've been doing nothing _but thinking_ since that day and what I came to realize, what _I know_ is that the feelings I have for you are more than friendship... they're affectionate - _romantic_. And I know that after what I've put you through I don't deserve it but I'm still hoping that you will forgive me and give me the chance to make you happy - as your _boyfriend_..." Blaine exhaled fully and waited. His brows arched up in question, begging for Kurt to answer.

Instead, a single tear spilled over the edge of Kurt's left eye and trickled slowly down his face. Blaine released Kurt's hand and reached up, slowly drawing his thumb over his pink cheek, brushing the tear away. Their eyes were locked onto one another's.

"How did I not see how beautiful you were before?"

Kurt drew in a shaky breath, "Blaine..."

Blaine used the hand already on Kurt's cheek to draw him in closer, pausing only for a moment, a silent message of what was forthcoming. The confusion and surprise in Kurt's eyes immediately softened; a nearly imperceptible nod of his head was all the permission that Blaine needed. Blaine closed the remaining distance and placed his lips on Kurt's. They were warm and soft and kissing him was so much better than he ever could have imagined.

And so, in the middle of the forest, in the centre of the clearing, underneath the majestic willow tree, Blaine and Kurt shared their first kiss; of which was to be the first of many future moments just like this one.

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><p>FIN !<p> 


End file.
